Just Keep Trying

As long as I have been training horses I have seen people come and go, both as trainers and riders. They get frustrated and overwhelmed and just quit and go do something else. That's fine if they realized that it is not for them and they want to do something else, but if they really do want to ride or train and just gave up that's no good. There are many reasons why but the main feeling seems to be "I want to do this but don't know how to do it well enough to be satisfied" or some variation on that theme. People feel that because of age, fear, physical condition, lack of training, lack of feel, etc. they will never achieve their horsemanship goals. That may be true, bu it is also irrelevant.

There is a story of two of the best riders/trainers in history talking about training horses. The elder asked the younger "How is it going with your horses?" The younger replied, "Good, I guess. They are doing well but I am just not satisfied". The elder nodded and said, "Ah, but my friend it will always be so". I believe that is the truth. As soon as you achieve one thing you will have learned enough that your goals or standards will be that much higher. Ultimately, that's good for the horses. It's also good for the rider, so don't sweat the process.

Another hurdle to achieving success with your horse is that no one wants to look foolish. People avoid putting themselves in a situation where someone might see and judge them. Don't we all know better that that? Didn't all of our grandmothers say at some point, "honey it doesn't matter what they think." That is the absolute truth, it doesn't matter what "they" think. With horses, as in any endeavor, there will always be someone who thinks they know more or have things all figured out. In my experience, the truly great riders and trainers mostly feel sympathetic towards others who are trying to become better horsemen, because they know first hand the enormity of the task. They also know that everyone who has accomplished anything with their horse has had to struggle at it. My advice is: be good to the people who know less than you, accept the decency of the good people around you who know more, and ignore the rest.

Fear is also a serious hurdle. When people tell me that they are afraid I usually chuckle and tell them that it just shows that they have some common sense. If you are afraid and still want to try, it just means that you have to work on overcoming your fear. The critical key to doing so with horses is, NOT to put yourself in a bad situation. Get a safe horse, preferably one that is old, experienced, and gentle by nature. (Don't be embarrassed to pay for an old horse.) Wear all of the safety gear that you know you should. Don't get talked into going into situations where you feel afraid. That's usually your mind telling you that you would like to stay safe and healthy. Take lessons in a controlled, supportive environment. Would you fly a jet without lessons even if every flight that jet had taken before was flawless? As you learn and gain confidence you can get a younger horse, dispense with lessons, etc. You'll know when you are ready.

Don't be afraid to challenge yourself. You will be unsatisfied at times, judged, afraid and make mistakes. Just remember, it really doesn't matter. You will get better and better and you will be proud of yourself. The others involved in what you are trying to do will be proud too.

Finally, the three things that I believe are of the greatest importance when working with horses: patience, determination and a willingness to try despite making mistakes. It is these three things that make the difference between achieving success with your horse; not bravery, athleticism, innate perfection or genetics. Good luck, and just keep on going.